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Christmassy Yet Oh-So Crude Jokes

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Christmas is a time for laughing and enjoying yourself. So if Christmas is a time for laughter, why are Christmas cracker jokes so awful?

You pull open the cracker, put your paper hat on and then...same old shitty jokes as last year.

Well no longer, we’re not going to put up with lukewarm, unfunny jokes at Christmas time anymore. Here are some jokes that definitely won’t disappoint this festive season:

1. Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
A. Because he knows better than to try the back door.

2. Why was the snowman smiling?
A. He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

3. Why is Santa so damn jolly?
A. Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

4. What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
A. They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.

5. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A. Snowballs.

6. Why is Santas sack so big?
A. He only comes once a year.

7. Why did the Snowman want a divorce?
A. Because his wife was a total flake.

8. What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
A. When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

9. What do three hos get you?
A. One very jolly Santa.

10. Dreaming of a white Christmas?
A. Jingle my balls, baby.

11. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
A. Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you.

12. Wanna see the North Pole?
A. That’s what Mrs Claus calls it…

13. You know, that’s not a candy cane in my pocket…
A. I’m just THAT happy to see you.

14. What is Santa’s motto?
A. Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney

Tell us your best festive jokes and give us a laugh.
nilot273

Nice jokes
nilot273

Nice jokes

Good fun.
balagag

Nice , excellent
ajaihnarayanan

Need the ho ho ho and let them jingle my bell
evinjohnmerc

Do you know why Santa has blue balls?
Because he only comes once a year and baby it's cold outside!!!!
bierrou74

Excellent 

Great, and hilarious. Fun fun
teddynight

Lol smile 

That's some chucky good stuff!
DomandJess

These are good. Thanks for sharing! 
Rikluvsoral

Cheers 
Im2precious4you

Classic

Chet's nuts roasting over an open fire.....
cpltocpl2018

Funny
nippuraj

Santa?? my wife pussy sack and fuck 25
nippuraj

Fucking?? my ?? ??
PRAKSHI

Enjoy holiday and marry Christmas 
nippuraj

Thanks sunil 
nippuraj

Jingle well jingle wife fuck away
Mohammedrafeeq037

Yes I m single Male ping me 

Why do elves laugh when they run?
Their balls get tickled by the snow!

So funny

Some of these are good!
kathy262

I'm interested in this forum
sexywhite50

Lol
jcksnd744

I'm so tired of getting the same old Christmas present every year. It's always a pair socks and a piece of ass that are both too big!

Funny
DomNexus

a


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nicoletabur764

hello, i want to open a place for the comunity,  in Romania, verry discret place were we can make private parties, pool,a beautifull view, roms with themes etc. Are u interesting for something like that? if yes please let mi know in pm or lets discuss here. thank u